Because you asked

hausmaus — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 07:06:55 +0000

You asked what my process was for making my decision to go “all in” on this thing. It is embarrassingly simple really. I have always done a post-mortem on past relationships. It’s just something you do when you are sitting in the dark and sorting thru the wreckage. So I am pretty up to date on the hows and whys of what happened in my past relationships so I am not prone to silly decisions when it comes to getting involved with someone. Flash forward to Pre-New Years. And there we are at Hawks. And a surprise kiss that I did not want to end. And then there is NYE, we are burning things in my driveway, you look amazing and I am happy. Stupid happy. To the point where people are approaching me when we go out and saying “I dont think I have seen you smile like that in years.” Seriously, I heard that no less than three times that night. And then we are in my driveway, saying our goodbyes, and thats when I felt the ouch that balanced out the happy. So later that day….I am on my couch sorting the whole thing out. And the first thought wasn’t “should I do this?”, it was,” how do we make this work”. And I was kinda stunned by that. I didn’t revert to the fears that usually pop up when you are in that beginning stage, especially after a bad relationship. All the old worries and insecurities that raise their ugly heads. Nothing of the sort happened in this case. Instead, it just, as cliche’ as it sounds, clicked. I have never had that happen. Not once in 40 years. So when it did happen, I tend to pay very close attention. Especially when a smart, sexy, intriguing and funny woman is telling me she likes me. And that was it. The click, the feeling that something had fallen into place. So why did I decide as I have? Because I want you in my life. Plain and simple. You say your timing sucks….I say it is perfect. I was finally in a place where I could see what I wanted and was able to follow through as well as be the man that is worth your time. I don’t want someone to rescue, I don’t want a victim. We are all broken to an extent, but there is a limit to the damage that we are willing to deal with. I want to add to someones life, I want to be able to trust someone again. And not to sound arrogant, but I want someone who is worth what I have to give. It’s a lot, and it’s good stuff. And I see that person in you. I think I can trust you with what I have to offer. Its intuition. But I trust my intuition. Every time I have ignored it….huge mistake. So There ya go. A decision based on the logical dissection of my past and trusting in the intuition that I have ignored for far too long.

Rasin' a Ruckus

Because you asked